3 Ways People Play The Blame Game

~I lift my eyes to the mountains~

We’ve all heard about the blame game.  Someone has to be responsible and accept blame.  Someone has to be at fault and be held accountable.  When no one is at fault, it makes us feel like there has been an injustice or imbalance.

Sometimes people get blamed for something that isn’t their fault and sometimes if someone is at fault they refuse to accept responsibility.  We see this in children, in adults, in families, and in the government ~ HA!

Here are 3 common ways the blame game is played:

1.  BLAMING OTHERS

It’s a natural human response to blame others when we make a mistake or something happens to us.  I’m guilty of this.  If something doesn’t go my way, I have this need to blame someone.  If there is no one to blame or it’s my own fault, it makes me feel worse.  It’s OK to take a deep breath and let it go without casting blame.  We can learn to stop blaming others.

Sometimes if it truly is someone else’s fault, it’s best to figure out a solution to fix the problem rather than focus on who to blame.

What happens when other people continue to blame you for things that are not your fault?

~ Check to see if maybe you ARE at fault.  Who knows?  Maybe they’re right.

~ Talk to the person share how you feel ~ especially if there is a habit of casting blame on you.

~ Don’t take it personally.  If they have a problem ~ it’s their problem.

~ Do nothing.  Sometimes there is not much to do except either focus on the solution or on letting it go.

~Where does my help come from~


2.  BLAMING OURSELVES

Just like it’s unhealthy to blame others all the time, it’s also unhealthy to blame ourselves when we are not at fault.

I was sexually abused from age 6 to age 10.  At ten, I stopped the abuse myself and it ended up destroying my family.  The abuse was a symptom of a broken family and the pain extended farther than I could even know.  But that didn’t stop me from blaming myself!  

We will blame ourselves for other people’s bad choices, for tragedy, loss and for abuse.  We will blame ourselves for things far out of our control.  This brings guilt and shame into our hearts that doesn’t need to be there.  It can hurt us emotionally, physically and spiritually.  It can cause anxiety and stress which can cause physical pain.

It’s essential to recognize self-blame and deal with it.  Bring it before the Lord and get rid of it.

Even if something is our fault and we wish we could change the past, it still needs to be dealt with.

If we are to blame, it’s crucial to forgive ourselves (and/or seek forgiveness), let it go, and move forward without guilt.

The blame game isn’t healthy, whether we’re in the habit of blaming others or ourselves.

~My help comes from the LORD~

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1

 


3.  BLAMING GOD

I’m guilty of blaming others and blaming myself but I have never blamed God.  I’m not saying this to brag ~ it’s the truth.

I hear people all the time blame God for all kinds of things.  I hear people use this as a reason to not believe in Him or to stop trusting and loving Him.

It’s heartbreaking when good people die young, children suffer, poverty wreaks havoc and destroys families, natural disasters take lives, evil people succeed, and hate prevails.  It seems like good people suffer the most while the wicked thrive.

I’ve seen people go through unthinkable hardships and I can’t even imagine their struggle.

Why is this?  Is it God’s fault?

N E V E R !

If we want to place blame somewhere we can blame sin.  Sin is the reason why the world is falling apart.  God didn’t cause sin or make it ~ He conquered it!

But thank God!  He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Corinthians 15:57

God saw all that He had made, and it was very good.  (Genesis 1:31)  Everything God created was VERY GOOD!  Sin entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God.  Sin is rebellion against God. 

God casts judgment on the wicked but in no way is He the reason for evil.

God is holy, righteous, He keeps His promise, He is perfect, He knows everything, He is just, His understanding is impossible to comprehend.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Ephesians 3:20 

It takes faith and trust in God to let go of the pain and bitterness.

No matter what happens ~ it’s necessary to let go of the pride and sin of trying to push our will over His.  God is in control and He knows what He is doing.

He saved us.  He loves us.  He is awesome. He is not to blame for sin.  We should never blame God for anything but trust Him with everything.

Have you not known?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.  Isaiah 40:28

~The maker of heaven and earth~  Psalm 121:1-2


Keeping our focus on the Lord and His truth will help prevent playing the blame game.  Although it’s easy to get into this habit, a little bit of effort can help break the cycle.

Thank you so much for reading this blog. Let me know what you think and please share what God is doing in your life.  I’d love to hear from you.

Love always and blessings~ Jaimee 

SUBSCRIBE ~ COMMENT ~ SHARE


Read the other articles on my blog and remember to SUBSCRIBE if you’re new!

My other posts:

Most Recent:

WAKE UP!! 5 Ways to Make a Difference!

Teens:

7 Ways To Make Great Teens 

Inspiring Teens to Make a Positive Impact For Christ

Five Lies Concerning Teens

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

Cleaning & Organizing:

6 Tips To Quick Cleaning ~ Kitchen Style

Family:

The Diagnosis ~ Forever Changed

Walking With Excellence

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

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YouTube Videos:

7 Tips For Building a Relationship With Your Teens

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

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He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

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The Power of His Resurrection

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The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

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4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

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WAKE UP!! 5 Ways to Make a Difference!

I’m concerned about the direction our world is headed.  The more I think about it the more I sound like the “old” people did when I was a kid.

In the 1980s and 1990s, I heard and read about terrible decisions our society will make in the near future and I was shocked.  Partial birth abortion, homosexuality, assisted suicide, and legalized marijuana ~ just to name a few.  I also heard that Christians will turn their backs on God and churches will lose their warmth and zeal for Christ.  Bible believing churches will lose their first Love and just go through the motions.

I thought that it was impossible for such a rapid moral decline.  Maybe in 200 years but not in the next 25.  I couldn’t see it.  I didn’t want to believe it.

Now, I’m seeing these things and worse play out right before my eyes and it’s scary!  Now is not the time to be idle.

It’s time to WAKE UP and make a difference!  Here are 5 reminders on how we can impact our world for Christ:


1.  STAY STRONG

No matter what people say or do or what the news says or how bad things may seem…STAY STRONG IN THE LORD.  Stand firm in your faith.

There is nothing new to God.  He knew how everything would go before He made the world.  The bible tells us how it will end.  The battle has been fought and God has already won.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave.  He conquered death for us all and we can seek refuge in Him.  He saved us!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea.  Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.  Psalm 46:1-3


2.  TRUST GOD

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.  Psalm 3:5-6


Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You!  Psalm 9:10

We can always trust in the Lord.  We have God’s Word, we have the power of prayer, and we have the Holy Spirit living in us.

 


But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23


3.  LOVE ~ LOVE ~ LOVE

The world is so busy making sure that no one steps on their toes or calls them out for their poor decisions that they do not know love.

Love is the one thing we can offer that the world doesn’t have.  By loving our children, our husbands, and our community, we are doing something that the world will notice.  They will know we are Christians by our love. (John 13:35)  Love comes from God.  (1 John 4:19)

We are to love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, bless those who curse us, turn the other cheek, and speak well of those who hate us.

There is ~ however ~ a difference between dealing with our enemies graciously and deliberately placing ourselves around people who are sabotaging our life.  We are not called to place our family in terrible situations regularly so we can bless our enemies.  Sometimes love means letting go.

Every situation is different.  The Lord will guide you and give you strength.


4.  SHARE CHRIST

We need to seek opportunities to share Christ with others.  When we were first married, we went through missionary training with New Tribes Mission (Ethnos360).  Their missionaries went to remote tribes who didn’t have the bible in their language nor did they have even one church.  They didn’t have an opportunity to learn about God if they wanted to.  There was ZERO chance for them to hear about Christ.

America has several translations of the bible, several hundred thousand churches, plenty of christian books, free bible on the internet, and bloggers who are sharing the gospel in online blogs.

The U.S. isn’t “unreached” but the U.S. IS LOST!  We need to actively share the gospel anytime the occasion arises.  We need to pray for opportunities and pray for boldness.  SHARE CHRIST!  The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  (Luke 10:2)

“The U.S. isn’t unreached but the U.S. IS LOST!


5.  TEACH OUR CHILDREN

What a pleasure to have children who are wise. Proverbs 23:24

I’ve said this before:  We need to teach our children (and grandchildren) the value of seeking God.  We need to teach them to be bold, to be strong, and to share their faith.

We need to teach them about God, the Bible, the gospel, the power of prayer, about love, and about walking in the Spirit.

Check out my new YouTube Video that talks about this very thing.  It’s geared toward building a relationship with teens but the tips are good reminders for us all whether we have teens or not.   


I know there is so much more I could say but these are simple reminders to get us moving ~ me included!

Please subscribe to my blog and share this post with others!  ALSO: Write and say hi.  I’d love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading!

Love and Blessings!


Read the other articles on my blog and remember to SUBSCRIBE if you’re new!

My other posts:

Teens:

7 Ways To Make Great Teens 

Inspiring Teens to Make a Positive Impact For Christ

Five Lies Concerning Teens

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

Cleaning & Organizing:

6 Tips To Quick Cleaning ~ Kitchen Style (MOST RECENT)

Family:

The Diagnosis ~ Forever Changed

Walking With Excellence

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

YouTube Videos:

7 Tips For Building a Relationship With Your Teens (NEW VIDEO)

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Handling Homeschool Stress Gracefully 

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe

 

7 Ways to Make Great Teens

Keeping with the teen theme I have going on right now, I thought I’d create another blog about teenagers.

Currently we have a 14 and 16 year old in the house and a very teen-like 7 year old.  And since we also have a couple kids in their early 20s ~ I’m seeing the before, during, and after, all at once.  What a view!

OH GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD

I have to admit that I write about handling teenagers with trembling fingers because ~ YIKES ~ sometimes I just don’t think I know what the heck I’m doing let alone write about it.  I’m not sure if I have teen fever or what but I sure have a lot to say about the very thing I feel the most incompetent talking about.

Sorry to disappoint ~ but hear me out.  With a transparent heart I will share the truth that I feel very inadequate as a mom sometimes.  But even the “experts” don’t know how to handle the tiny human heart so let’s not be too hard on ourselves ~ OK?

As complicated as mom life is and being a parent of teens can be, there is hope.  There are more answers to our questions than we can comprehend ~ we just need to know where to look.


1 ~ LOOK TO GOD’S WORD

Well DUH!  You knew I was going to say that, right?  But the truth is that the Word of God has everything to say about how to live life, how NOT to live life, about eternal life and WHO to trust.  It’s all there!  It also has so much to say about raising children and teens.

CALL UPON HIS NAME

As parents, we need to know everything about the bible.  We need to walk humbly with our God and seek Him every single day.  It’s not magic or legalism.  It’s a relationship.  It’s impossible to do this alone and we will fail if we try.  We need the Lord and we need to be obsessed with Him and with seeking Him.

Satan, the world, and our society are all all obsessed with keeping us away from God ~ so we need to fight to keep God first in our lives and not stray from Him.  Our family depends on us to be strong in the Lord.

Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

1 John 4:4


The Word of God is the best history book and the best spiritual book.  It not only talks about historical events which is perfect for education but the Old Testament is pointing the world to the coming of Christ and the New Testament is pointing the world to the risen Christ.  It’s all about Jesus and salvation with history and life lessons all intertwined with lovingkindness, grace, and justice.


MAKE KNOWN HIS DEEDS AMONG THE PEOPLES

Our children are our responsibility until they are fully mature and are capable of handling life on their own.  That includes their spiritual life.

When our children fall, we can feel like a failure but that’s what life is about. It’s about falling down and getting back on the horse.

We need to equip them as much as possible ~ as soon as possible ~ but also know that they will have to learn some lessons on their own.

We need to always be there for them to help them along the way and set an example of how to trust in the Lord.  That’s the key.  Building a relationship with God and growing in Him.  We must never forget ourselves but lead by example and teach this to our children also.

SING TO HIM ~ SING PRAISES TO HIM


2 ~ PRAY

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.  Colossians 4:2

Prayer is powerful and God wants us to devote ourselves to prayer with diligence and faithfulness.

Pray for your children and your family ~ pray for faithfulness and wisdom. Pray that they will listen to the Holy Spirit and glorify the Lord with their lives.

Pray for protection ~ for blessings ~ and everything in between.  Pray without ceasing and don’t forget ~ PRAY ALWAYS!

The Lord is near to all who call on Him,
to all who call on Him in truth.  Psalm 145:18

SPEAK OF ALL HIS WONDERS


 

3 ~ DO NOT PROVOKE THEM

As for parents, don’t provoke your children to anger, but raise them with discipline and instruction about the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

The tendency for some is for the pendulum to swing from anger, yelling and annoyance to hovering, controlling and being self-righteous.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

We are not to exasperate them to the point of resentment by nitpicking them, making demands that are trivial, unreasonable, showing favoritism or annoyance.  BUT show them tenderhearted lovingkindness ~ even when they’re little stinkers ~ HA!

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.  Colossians 3:21


 

4 ~ TEACH THEM TO BE GREAT

The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  Deuteronomy 6:4-7

GLORY IN HIS HOLY NAME

Teach your children:

~ To love the Lord

~ To serve Him with all their heart and all their soul

~ To respect themselves and others

~ Kindness

~ Discipline

~ How to be healthy

~ How to pray

~ How to spend time with God

~ How to walk humbly with the Lord


5 ~ BE CONSISTENT

Consistency and persistence starts when they’re young.  The more consistent you are when they’re young, the better teens and adults they will be.  If they’re a challenge when they’re older, it’s even more important to be consistent and not give up.

This is a battle and we need to fight for our children.  If we don’t ~ someone else will.  We are strong enough to win because we have the Lord.  We must never lose heart ~ we must finish strong!

 With God on our side we will win; He will defeat our enemies.  Psalm 108:13


6 ~ HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE

LET THE HEART OF THOSE WHO SEEK THE LORD BE GLAD

Be firm and bold and hold them accountable for their actions.  Don’t be afraid of a challenge whether they throw a tantrum at 2, 12 or 16.  They may be upset if you set boundaries and hold them to it ~ but they won’t die.  They won’t hate you.  They won’t even faint.  They will be OK because you are showing them love.  You are showing them discipline and right living.  You are showing them how their actions affect their lives and those around them.  You are showing them how to live for the Lord.  Raising children has shown me that although I may feel like a wimp sometimes ~ I’m a lot stronger than I think!  AND SO ARE YOU!


7 ~ WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD

SEEK THE LORD AND HIS STRENGTH

This blog isn’t a legalistic list to follow to check off the box.  It isn’t about judging other people’s children and families.  This is about how every family has potential to grow closer to the Lord and be a blessing to those around them.  It’s about putting God first and truly loving our family.

We can only paint with the colors we have at each moment of our lives so it’s OK to feel like we fall short.  It’s about recognizing that God~ perfect and Holy ~ gave us His best.  So we can give Him our best ~ with His strength.  We give Him our hearts, our children, our families…our lives ~ OUR BEST!

Our children understand that we’re only human and that we make mistakes.  They know us better than we think they do.  They can tell if we fail, are hypocritical, or indifferent.  Or if our strength is in the Lord and our dependence is on Him.  They see us trying and they see our love.  It’s really hard to hide our hearts from them.

So when all else fails ~ TRUST ~ BELIEVE ~ HAVE FAITH & HOPE

He has told you, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you ~ To act justly, to love kindness, and to WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD.   Micah 6:8

SEEK HIS FACE CONTINUALLY

1 Chronicles 16:8-11


Thank you so much for reading my blog.  Please share your thoughts and your experience. We can learn from each other.

AND DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG AND SHARE THIS POST WITH OTHERS ~  THANK YOU!

Blessings to you and your family!


MY OTHER POSTS~

Teens:

Inspiring Teens to Make a Positive Impact For Christ (MOST RECENT)

Five Lies Concerning Teens

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

Family:

The Diagnosis ~ Forever Changed

Walking With Excellence

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

YouTube Videos:

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Handling Homeschool Stress Gracefully 

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe

 

 

 

Five Lies Concerning Teens

The teen section of our library is currently celebrating gay teen pride and displaying a ton of books for LGBTQ.  Other times, the teen exhibits include witchcraft and other dark and evil books.

Thankfully, they don’t have such disturbing displays for younger children and adults but why would they have such exhibits for teens?

The world can be so pushy with their false beliefs that it’s easy for people to fall for the untruth ~ which is often directed toward our teens.

I know there’s more but I wanted to touch on the ones that come to mind at the moment.  I don’t know everything that pressures our youth today but I will share my thoughts based on our own experiences.

#1 – Faithful teens should influence troubled teens  

While faithful teens can always impact others for good and positive peer pressure is a thing, they should never hang around kids who they know are participating in drinking, doing drugs, engaging in sexual or any other sinful acts so they can change their lives.  If the troubled teens haven’t repented and aren’t being held accountable by the adults in their lives, then other kids need to stay far away from them.

Of course, if there is repentance and accountability, they should be given another chance but it isn’t up to other teens to make that happen. Kindness and forgiveness is possible without putting other children at risk.

We’ve had to guide our teens to stay the course among negative situations (that was handled appropriately by adults) but we also had to take our kids out of youth groups and disappear so quickly that even Houdini would have been surprised.

Each situation is different and the Holy Spirit will guide each family with how to move forward.  Be aware of who your kids are friends with and who they hang around.  Trust your gut.  God will speak to you about your family.

 #2 – Popularity is important

It’s not.  It’s a lie to think that being popular will make a kid happy and successful.  Most adults will read this post and agree that it’s a lie but in real life situations they’ll secretly believe it to be true.

I’ve heard parents say that they’re happy their children are popular and I’m not saying that it’s wrong.  I’m just saying that it’s not important and shouldn’t be a goal in teen’s life.

Lead them to Jesus.  He is always accepting and kind.  Contentment only comes from living a life for Christ.

#3 – Having a lot of friends is important

 It may be fun to have a lot of friends but it’s not necessary.  Everyone goes through phases of life when they have more friends than other times. Sometimes there may be times when they don’t have any friends.  People come and people go but God is always there.  If a teen is experiencing a friendless period of time especially after a move, pray and ask God to provide a positive friendship.  Lead them to Jesus.  He will provide.  God may use this time to draw them to Him.  Trust God.

#4 – Now is their time to live sinfully

NEVER!  Mistakes will happen but indulging in sinful or selfish acts should be strongly discouraged.  I know people who could never recover from the things they did as a teen.  The things they do now can stay with them for a lifetime.  The world pushes the lie that this is the one time in their lives that they can get away with acting foolishly ~ but we need to teach daily the value of seeking God.

#5 – Being cruel is cool

I am truly shocked at how mean Christian teens can be to their peers. Most children are taught compassion from a very young age and there is never an excuse for unkindness to others.  Now is as good a time as any to practice kindness and self control.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

See my blog ~ 7 Tips For Encouraging Teens to Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants


The blog I was writing this week was so long that I took this from it and made it a whole separate blog.  Next week, I’ll talk more about teenagers and how they can impact the world for Christ.

Please subscribe to my blog by placing your email in the “subscribe” box and let me know what you think.

Have a blessed day!


 My other posts:

Family:

The Diagnosis ~ Forever Changed (MOST RECENT)

Walking With Excellence

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

YouTube Videos:

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Handling Homeschool Stress Gracefully 

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe

The Diagnosis ~ Forever Changed

“I’m sorry to say, that it’s Type 1 Diabetes.” ~ Two years ago today, our youngest child was diagnosed with T1D.

(Diagnosed 6-30-2015)

We thought our son was allergic to sugar.  It started out with a meltdown every time he ate sugar but his symptoms escalated from there. So we went out of our way to make sure he didn’t eat any sugar.  After having him checked, it turned out that he had a severe gluten allergy, so he was treated.

Meanwhile, we’re packing and getting everything ready to move to Missouri (from Arizona) so we wanted to have him treated and cleared of this allergy before we left.  But it wouldn’t clear.  After going back to our doctor to try to figure out what was going on with our youngest, blood work revealed higher than normal blood sugar and we were told to go to his primary care doctor ASAP.

(BTW~ He is two years gluten-free.  Blood work doesn’t reveal anything but his symptoms are still too severe to test for Celiac’s Disease.)

See my post “How I Cured My Food Allergies!”

Trying to get some dental work done before our move since I had a horrific toothache, I had an early dental appointment for 3 fillings and an extraction (turned into dry socket UGH!!!)  I picked my husband up from his last day at work, went to the doctor to make an appointment in person, headed home to be on the phone with realtors and the moving company until our doctor appointment later in the afternoon.

His blood sugar was elevated at his appointment so our doctor told us to go straight to Phoenix Children’s Hospital and she would call ahead to let them know we were coming.

At the hospital, the doctor told us not to worry that with a severe gluten allergy and messing around back and forth with eating gluten and then going on a gluten-free diet will for sure mess with one’s blood sugar.  She said to relax while they do blood work to know for sure. 

She came back an hour later and said, “I’m sorry to say, that it’s Type 1 Diabetes.”  My heart sank!  My brother has T1D so I knew a little bit about what was involved but I was shocked at how much I truly didn’t know!

Our lives would never be the same.

We were in the hospital for 3-4 days learning everything we can about treating T1D and managing his blood sugar.  This would be our full time job from this moment on.  Jayce was 5.  

We watched them give him his shots and check his blood sugar.  We spoke to dietitians, coaches, doctors, and trainers.  We learned about T1D, blood glucose, the pancreas, carbs, math, calculations, how to figure out dosage and more.  They taught Jayce about T1D, they taught our older children about T1D, they gave our son gifts and toys and books and backpacks. They were wonderful!  They were helpful!  They educated us!

On the second or third day the nurse came in to give him his shot and stood there smiling at me.  I wasn’t sure what she was waiting for so I smiled back.  

“Are you ready to give him his shot?”  She asked me with a grin.  Ummmm….Yeees?  I wasn’t!  I was never going to be ready.  But I pretended to have confidence like I’ve done so many times in the past just by being a mom period.  Just grin and fake it.  Am I the only one who feels that way when it comes to parenting?

So I figured out the dosage and fumbled awkwardly with the syringe and insulin bottle, trying to get it just right with only the medication and no air.  I had an audience of nurses and our family watching me give our 5 year old a shot in the leg.  I pinched his little leg, got the shot ready, gave him the shot, Jayce moved his leg before I could give him the insulin so I had to poke him twice.  He said he didn’t want me to give him the shot.  I didn’t want to either.  But I did and we all survived WHEW.

In fact, my husband and 3 older children have all given him shots.  Jayce has given himself a shot or two but he’s not quite ready to do this on his own regularly.

While we’re thankful that there is a treatment and hopeful for a cure, this has been a challenge for our whole family.  It has only been two years but it feels like a life time!

I am weak and I lack strength.

Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40: 28-31

I am unsure of our future.

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in You.  Psalm 39:7

I lack faith.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

 

I am afraid.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.  Psalm 56:3


~ Keeping his blood sugar in the safe zone is agonizing

~ Calculating carbs and figuring out his insulin dose is challenging

~ Giving shots with every meal is getting easier

~ Checking his blood sugar is annoying

~ Changing his Continuous Glucose Monitor is tough

~ Knowing how to treat highs is necessary

~ Treating lows is scary

~ Checking on him during the night is daunting

~ Worrying about him is constant

~ But God is our strength and gives us courage and hope

~ We are not alone

 


My hope is that this article is a blessing to you.  My prayer is that your faith is strengthened.  God is always there.  You are never alone.  Please subscribe to my blog and have a great day!

My other posts:

Family:

Walking With Excellence

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

YouTube Videos:

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Handling Homeschool Stress Gracefully (MOST RECENT)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe

 

 

 

 

Handling Homeschool Stress Gracefully

Now that most homeschoolers are either on a summer break or light load, I thought I’d give encouraging guidance on how to handle tension during the time when people are probably not stressed.  Be sure to read this again around October!

When we first started homeschooling, 18-years ago, we got excessive criticism for our decision.  As far as the educational needs of our children, we had an option just like everyone else.  We respected other families for their choices and hoped for the same in return.  I can honestly say that most of the homeschooling stress had to do with the judgement of others and the endless questions sent our way. Whether it was people we knew or cashiers at the store, we had to deal with how our decision to homeschool was received by others.  Protecting our children from quizzing and lecturing interrogators and helping our young ones through the pain of handling remarks like they’d be smarter if they went to a public school or that folks can tell that they’re homeschooled because they’re weird and uncool, proved necessary ~ which, by the way, is an appalling thing to say to any child.  It wasn’t just the mean ones we had to deal with but all the excessive questions and comments as well.  It was like playing 20 questions with everyone who asked us anything school related, which seemed to happen every time we left the house.

This kind of stuff is stressful!  Algebra is not! 

Fast forward to 2017 ~ people are much friendlier and knowledgable about home education, especially here in Missouri.  But there are other kinds of stress for homeschoolers.  Now that I don’t have people jumping down my throat every time I say “homeschool,” there is less anxiety for us.  But what about the other kinds of stress?

As a homeschool veteran, I thought I would offer some encouragement and help on handling homeschooling stress gracefully.

Judgments, Questions, and Criticism

It never ceases to amaze me how many misconceptions people still have about homeschooling (which is fine because that’s how it is with most everything).  I used to get a lot more questions than I do now, and many of them, I couldn’t answer. But homeschooling isn’t as deep as many think.

When I was in 6th grade, I had a serious health issue which led me to miss 6 months of school.  I was mostly home alone all day while both my parents worked and my sisters were at school.  A tutor came to my house twice a week to give me my assignments.  She would appear with a stack of school work, explain stuff to me and then come back another day to pick everything up and give me more assignments.  Academically, it was the best thing that could happen to me because after this, I grew into a straight A student and school made more sense.  Miss Tutor didn’t spend a lot of time explaining things to me, just 15 minutes a day twice a week.  As far as my emotional well being, socialization, and safety ~ it was great and I did fine (there was no internet, video games, iPads, or cable TV in 1980). Eventually, my health improved and I slipped back into the routine of going to school and classes without missing a beat.  My grades were good and life went back to normal.  And the best part… I wasn’t held back because of all my absences…WHEW!

In today’s world, the above tale wouldn’t be a textbook setting and experts would probably frown at this ~ but for me ~ it was splendiferous! (I love that word!)

The point of the story was that I thrived learning at home in a not-so-great situation from a tutor who barely gave me the time of day.  But home education is much more than receiving and dumping assignments. Homeschooling is family driven with different educational needs and goals ~ so there should be no apologies.

Answering questions and criticism about homeschooling didn’t show my irresistible side nor did it reveal my strengths.  Because I was unprepared to handle the push back that our educational choice caused, when people asked me about homeschooling, I feel like my answers were less than brilliant.  My critics became some sort of scholar with a PhD in education leaving me feeling like a nincompoop unqualified to even teach our children how to spell their names.  And I seemed to have no answers to tell a different story.  But if I could do it all over again, my response would explain respectfully and with kindness, that in homeschool we study much of the same things as they did when they were in school ~ History, Science, Math, Language Arts, Bible and other fun stuff.  I would say that I enjoy it and our kids are thriving.  I would explain to them with confidence that we like homeschooling because we are fond of the curriculum and the environment.  And one reason why we homeschool is because we are concerned about their socialization.  I would say that we’re glad that God opened the door for us to do this and we love the work involved.  We don’t push others to like or agree with our choices or to think like us.  We’re living our life the way we feel is right for our family and our situation.  I would say those things no matter what they asked because that is the truth and probably answered the real questions they are asking.

It’s not that deep and not worthy of all the attention we had to bear. Looking back, it’s easy for me to say that I should have been more bold, confident and firm. But my job wasn’t to educate the public but that of our children.  Debating and defending has never been a strength of mine so I’m not going to beat myself up about how I handled this in the past but maybe my story will help others in the future.

Answering questions and fostering discussion is great every once in awhile but dealing with judgmental and harassing questions regularly is exhausting. If you’re like me and can’t think of clever answers off the top of your head when you’re put on the spot, then keep it short, simple and lighthearted.  Or maybe just smile at your critics fans and move on.

Parents are capable of educating their children and don’t need to prove anything.  Because homeschooling isn’t as big of a mystery as it was in years past, hopefully this won’t be much of a problem anymore.  But if it is adding stress to your homeschooling experience, especially if you have disapproving relatives, it’s time to let that stress go.  Suffering from inappropriate interrogations isn’t necessary or helpful and can have damaging affects on your children.

Of course, healthy questions are welcome and isn’t what I’m talking about.  But unfortunately some will disguise harassment and manipulation by making it seem like they’re just asking a question or they’ll criticize with their questions.  There’s a big difference and even children can sense the contradiction.  If a question feels more like a criticism or a comment is plain rude, pray for the Lord to give you the right answer.  Sometimes it is best not to say anything at all, shake the dust from your feet, and move on.

The Stress of Behavior Problems

It doesn’t take long to realize that all children are unique.  They have different personalities, different learning styles, different strengths and weaknesses.  It’s important to be consistent, persistent and patient with academics and behavior.  Children will need to learn how to do school.  It will take time for them to get the hang of the curriculum, working hard, and stepping out of their comfort zone.  It also takes time for kids to adjust if there is a change to the curriculum, schedule or if they start homeschooling after going to a school.

Some children are more difficult than others and sometimes there are severe behavior problems.  It’s even more prevalent now a days with ADHD, ADD, and other neurological problems escalating.  Autism has increased more than 800% in the last 16 years, which is an incredible statistic!  Blaming lack of discipline is as outdated as saying homeschoolers lack socialization.  We all know better.  But what do you do?

Well, the short answer is ~ you need to be consistent, persistent and patient.  You have to be all of those all of the time with the Lord’s strength!  It’s not easy but it’s not impossible.  Even the most stubborn and spirited child needs to learn academic discipline.  You may need to make school easier or have them do less but a little bit will go a long way. You can always increase it later.  Here is a list of additional things that may help with behavior problems:

~ Make your child’s bedtime earlier.

~ Start school first thing in the morning.

~ Make sure your child is eating healthy especially for breakfast.  No sugar or junk food.

~ Healthy brain and gut are important for kids.  Omega -3 Fish Oil supplements are good for the brain and Probiotics are essential for gut health.

~ Remove food from the diet that your child is allergic or sensitive to.

~ Be calm and loving but also firm.  Let them know what is expected of them and work everyday towards that goal.

~ Have fun ~ school is fun or can be!  (Our teens may say differently)

Check out my blog “7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants”

~ No TV, video games, iPads, or smartphones during the school week.

~ Don’t allow them to go too long without eating to avoid hypoglycemic symptoms.

~ Don’t give up.

See also “Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms (4 Reminders)”

~ Patience Patience Patience!  It’s good for you!  You can do it! (I’m talking to myself right there!)

(People will often comment about how patient I must be to be able to homeschool.  If I have patience, I learned it BECAUSE I homeschool.  Not the other way around.  AND I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN!)

~ Last but not least…PRAY OFTEN!

Have a Schedule

Having a schedule that works well with your family and sticking to it will help to reduce the stress of homeschooling.  We plan our school around my husband’s work schedule.  When he worked early and only 4 days a week, then we started early and had an extra day off.  When his work day schedule changed and he went to work later, then our school day started later.  Our children get the same days off of school as my husband.  Once we get into a routine of starting school first thing and going until we’re finished, then our days usually run smoothly and things get done.

Include lesson plans, grading, cleaning, and laundry into your schedule too.  Have routines and teach your children to have routines also.

Plan a day at least once a month where the kids do some reading and assignments on their own but you don’t do any school work with them. This will help them learn independence and also give you a chance to catch up on your work, nap or just enjoy a piece of chocolate cake.  OK ~ that was random…but you get the idea.

Exercise

I love to workout and dance but since my kidney surgery a year ago, my bladder and kidney hurt so badly whenever I do anything.  But I found that even doing simple exercises help so much.  I will do 10 squats, 10 crunches, 10 push-ups, 10 second plank, and 10 battements (ballet leg kicks) on each side.  This all takes me less than 5 minutes to do but it’s a good workout and doesn’t hurt my kidney and bladder too much.

It’s important that the kids play outside to get their exercise.  We will go check the mail (with our steep driveway, this is exercise in and of itself) and then walk around our property.  Sometimes we’ll run around our house.  It’s quick and simple but it works.  Exercise and activity are more important than we realize.  It not only helps with basic overall health but it can prevent neurological and some behavior problems.


For more great homeschooling ideas see my other posts ~ Kindergarten is the HARDEST! (Part 1) and Kindergarten is the HARDEST! (Part 2)


 

Schedule Fun

I probably don’t need to say this but I will just for the heck of it ~ HAVE FUN!  Go to the library, the park, swim and go on field trips.  Make crafts, make messes or do school outside!

Quiet Time

This should be the first and most important thing ~ Spend time with God by reading the bible and praying every single day.  People who have a relationship with God and spend time with Him regularly are able to handle stressful days better than those who do not.  God is your Rock and He loves you so much.  He is also crazy about your children and He wants you to bless your kids.  Look to Him.  Seek Him.  Trust Him.  

This year, I have been using the Blue Letter Bible App on my phone to read through the bible in a year chronologically.  It’s AWESOME!!!  I’ve always read regularly but this is the first time I’ve read chronologically.  I love reading the Psalms and Proverbs at the same time as Kings and Chronicles.  It’s super cool.

Conclusion

Slow down

Get organized

Don’t do too much

Make a list

Take breaks

Exercise

Be consistent

Don’t let criticism and behavior challenges wear you down

Pray for strength

Rely on the Lord

EAT CHOCOLATE!

There you have it.  Even more great ways to handling stress with grace and dignity! You’re doing a great job, pretty mama.  Keep it up!

Please share your thoughts and ideas concerning homeschooling stress. I’d love to hear from you!

Subscribe with your email and share this post.


My other blogs:

Family:

Walking With Excellence (MOST RECENT)

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

YouTube Videos:

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe

 

 

 

 

 

Walking With Excellence

 

I’ve been working diligently on a blog about handling the stress of homeschooling but I’m not quite ready to launch this particular post.  So I thought I’d share something else that’s on my mind and post the homeschooling one another time.

I mentioned this verse in my blog “Calling All Overworked and Under-Appreciated Moms (4 Reminders),” but it continues to be on my heart so I thought I’d share my thoughts further.

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.  Proverbs 14:1

One way a woman can build her house is by being an excellent wife and mother.

Who is an excellent woman who builds her house without tearing it down? Here are some examples taken from my favorite passage on the subject ~ Proverbs 31.

~ She is blameless and virtuous.

~ She has strength, ability, efficiency, wealth, and courage.

~ She is more valuable than jewels.

~ Her husband trusts her and he will lack nothing.

~ She does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life.

~ She works hard in delight.

~ She is not lazy.

~ She is wise and kind.

~ She takes care of her family.

~ She has strength and dignity and she’s prepared for the future.

~ She fears the Lord.


Life happens and gets hectic which often reveals our vulnerability and imperfections.  But that’s the exciting part about walking with the Lord. We can seek Him and trust Him everyday to make us excellent!

Be encouraged and may the Lord bless you today, my friend!


 

My other posts:

Family:

7 Tips For Encouraging Teens To Wear Happy Pants ~ Not Grumpy Pants

DO NOT READ THIS BLOG!

YouTube Videos:

Jaimee’s Blog Video (Mom Vlog)

Mimi Speaks (Encouragement video)

Calling All Overworked and Under-appreciated Moms (Video)

Devotional Series:

Getting Rid of Distractions

He is a Jealous God

How Much Does God Love Us?

Live Loved

Dearly Devoted 

The Power of His Resurrection

Spiritual & Inspirational:

Oh Be Careful Little Mind What You Think

Calling All Overworked & Under-Appreciated Moms  (4 Reminders)

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent

The Time I Gave Up Social Media For Lent (Part 2)

How To Be A Perfect Mom

4 Negative Emotions Moms Should Avoid

One Important Key To Being A Good Mom

How To Keep The World From Getting In Your Head (4 Steps)

4 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Change Your Life

4 Things to Remember When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Homeschooling & Money:

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 1)

Kindergarten is the Hardest! (Part 2)

6 Ways to Save Money on Homeschool Curriculum

7 Money Saving Tips

 Health & Recipes:

How I Cured My Food Allergies

Chicken Noodle Soup

Healthy Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Perfect Homemade Flour Tortillas

Hooray For 3-Minute Pizza

Salsa Recipe (MOST RECENT)