~I lift my eyes to the mountains~
We’ve all heard about the blame game. Someone has to be responsible and accept blame. Someone has to be at fault and be held accountable. When no one is at fault, it makes us feel like there has been an injustice or imbalance.
Sometimes people get blamed for something that isn’t their fault and sometimes if someone is at fault they refuse to accept responsibility. We see this in children, in adults, in families, and in the government ~ HA!
Here are 3 common ways the blame game is played:
1. BLAMING OTHERS
It’s a natural human response to blame others when we make a mistake or something happens to us. I’m guilty of this. If something doesn’t go my way, I have this need to blame someone. If there is no one to blame or it’s my own fault, it makes me feel worse. It’s OK to take a deep breath and let it go without casting blame. We can learn to stop blaming others.
Sometimes if it truly is someone else’s fault, it’s best to figure out a solution to fix the problem rather than focus on who to blame.
What happens when other people continue to blame you for things that are not your fault?
~ Check to see if maybe you ARE at fault. Who knows? Maybe they’re right.
~ Talk to the person share how you feel ~ especially if there is a habit of casting blame on you.
~ Don’t take it personally. If they have a problem ~ it’s their problem.
~ Do nothing. Sometimes there is not much to do except either focus on the solution or on letting it go.
~Where does my help come from~
2. BLAMING OURSELVES
Just like it’s unhealthy to blame others all the time, it’s also unhealthy to blame ourselves when we are not at fault.
I was sexually abused from age 6 to age 10. At ten, I stopped the abuse myself and it ended up destroying my family. The abuse was a symptom of a broken family and the pain extended farther than I could even know. But that didn’t stop me from blaming myself!
We will blame ourselves for other people’s bad choices, for tragedy, loss and for abuse. We will blame ourselves for things far out of our control. This brings guilt and shame into our hearts that doesn’t need to be there. It can hurt us emotionally, physically and spiritually. It can cause anxiety and stress which can cause physical pain.
It’s essential to recognize self-blame and deal with it. Bring it before the Lord and get rid of it.
Even if something is our fault and we wish we could change the past, it still needs to be dealt with.
If we are to blame, it’s crucial to forgive ourselves (and/or seek forgiveness), let it go, and move forward without guilt.
The blame game isn’t healthy, whether we’re in the habit of blaming others or ourselves.
~My help comes from the LORD~
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
3. BLAMING GOD
I’m guilty of blaming others and blaming myself but I have never blamed God. I’m not saying this to brag ~ it’s the truth.
I hear people all the time blame God for all kinds of things. I hear people use this as a reason to not believe in Him or to stop trusting and loving Him.
It’s heartbreaking when good people die young, children suffer, poverty wreaks havoc and destroys families, natural disasters take lives, evil people succeed, and hate prevails. It seems like good people suffer the most while the wicked thrive.
I’ve seen people go through unthinkable hardships and I can’t even imagine their struggle.
Why is this? Is it God’s fault?
N E V E R !
If we want to place blame somewhere we can blame sin. Sin is the reason why the world is falling apart. God didn’t cause sin or make it ~ He conquered it!
But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57
God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. (Genesis 1:31) Everything God created was VERY GOOD! Sin entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Sin is rebellion against God.
God casts judgment on the wicked but in no way is He the reason for evil.
God is holy, righteous, He keeps His promise, He is perfect, He knows everything, He is just, His understanding is impossible to comprehend.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20
It takes faith and trust in God to let go of the pain and bitterness.
No matter what happens ~ it’s necessary to let go of the pride and sin of trying to push our will over His. God is in control and He knows what He is doing.
He saved us. He loves us. He is awesome. He is not to blame for sin. We should never blame God for anything but trust Him with everything.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. Isaiah 40:28
~The maker of heaven and earth~ Psalm 121:1-2
Keeping our focus on the Lord and His truth will help prevent playing the blame game. Although it’s easy to get into this habit, a little bit of effort can help break the cycle.
Thank you so much for reading this blog. Let me know what you think and please share what God is doing in your life. I’d love to hear from you.
Love always and blessings~ Jaimee
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